4 April Back from Bangkok

When I was researching trauma and resilience for my MPhil I read reports of trauma workers coming into Kosovo to work with trauma. International NGOs talked with people about their trauma at the same time the community was reeling from war and asking for help and support as they worked to reclaim their lives. People described a need for safety, housing, work with an income to support their families… and the trauma workers were prepared to provide psychological support for trauma. Many of Kosovo’s people described feeling further victimized as funding programs came in to address their trauma while the real needs of safety, shelter and meaningful work were unaddressed.

My research with resilience looked at the often quoted view that the majority of individuals who experience trauma are resilient and move through the experience from surviving to thriving, even in the face of man-made trauma of war and natural disasters such as tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes.
Van der Kolk has spoken about the insights he gained from Hugo. Not a person but a hurricane. After hurricane Hugo, psychologists came to support the survivors. The survivors were working to repair their homes and instead were asked to meet and discuss their trauma. In fact, van der Kolk says that exactly what the people were doing was their best treatment for trauma.

Do not sit around and talk about what you have experienced, but rather get on with recovery. Resilient folks carry bricks from destroyed homes to build in a new spot. Resilient people work together to support each other in rebuilding their community. In Hikkaduwa, a group of five families were sharing pots and a few spoons as they cooked their meals in a common area and did their best to clean debris and re establish some routine. Routines such as bed time, breakfast, school, work, caring for the home. Resilience means we need to feel that we are doing something; we are actively making life better.
A young child sweeps the step for an old woman who can sit and hold a wee one as the baby’s aunt carries bricks and water jugs. Little children can gather clothes which may not be useable as clothes but can be torn up to make rugs. One group of young girls made tea for the community youth who were removing dead trees and clearing land of bush that had not survived the salt water tsunami waves which destroyed not only homes, but vegetation. (It seems many palm trees survived as salt water is not a problem for them.)

Van de Kolk noted that physical activity and actual body movement through trauma is essential in recovery. I have noticed communities in the East who know not to depend on the government and are working together to repair and recover their homes and lives in their own communities. They have learned in the violence of war that their survival and ability to thrive depends on their own momentum. And so they work.

In some communities in the south, there is perhaps less experience of war and more shock response to this tsunami. They wait on the government which has not been forthcoming with allocated land, money to build homes and the delivery of promised aid. Their dependence on the government and belief that someone will provide has in fact caused them further trauma as many still are located in shared tents, with few resources and minimal relief.

When I first arrived in Sri Lanka, my first month, I longed for a bath or shower. (I got very used to bucket for bathing, and I lost 20 pounds as the people who provided a room for me did not eat until well after the TV dramas from India, with loud shrieking, distressed actresses who seemed to get hit a lot and found their men always yelling and leaving them. I am not a watcher of North American soap operas so I am not able to compare these dramas from India. I do know that I would collapse in bed shortly after bucket bathing, tuck my mosquito net around me and my exhaustion helped me sleep and I was oblivious to the shrieking actresses.

My acclimatization to developing country food, heat, bugs and all was not however the biggest challenge for me. My biggest challenge was a sense of uselessness. I had all this willingness and capacity to work yet the organization I came to work with, AHIMSA, was caught between funding challenges with a funding NGO. Peer mediation, resilience and trauma, all essential areas of focus and interest according communities were things I could work with; yet I could do nothing for the first month as AHIMSA dealt with challenges between funding and organizational conflicts.

I have had the opportunity to provide training and mediation to groups such as this when conflicts occur. In these roles I have been trainer or an external consultant, facilitator and mediator. This time I was on the inside of the conflict. Bill Ury’s third side work (see www.thirdside.org ) describes many roles for third side resolution of conflicts and there is very real benefit to applying the various third side roles, even from my position as sort of inside-outside. I am pleased to say that things are proceeding ahead now, and I have lots to do. What felt disabling to me was my inability to do anything. Just sit and wait. Perhaps my meditation practice helped somewhat, but I am struck with how the ability to sit and ‘be’ in the present moment is very challenging with the ‘do’ way of life when there is so much to do.

I look forward to learning about all these teachable moments in hind sight. A bit like looking across a mountain of switch backs and colourful Larch trees after one has trudged up the canyon and switch backs and climbed the rocky riverbed boulders in the Canadian Rockies. I am writing now from the vantage point of a rest house on a switch back as I have just returned from a holiday in Thailand. Food, shopping, snorkelling, beautiful beaches, air conditioned hotel with swimming pool and serious bath, and a wonderful time with a friend have all contributed to my refreshed, rested and relaxed take on life. Films: A Long Engagement and Hotel Rwanda, books: Kite Runner, Blind Assassin, and Jack Kerouac all contribute to my ‘be’ing -‘do’ing living.

I am interested to hear your thoughts on ‘be’ and ’do’. How does that work in your life? And can you live in the day? And/Or do you want something to look forward to? Or perhaps are you a bit of both?

I am curious about all these things and this blog offers me an excellent way of writing and hearing back as you share your wondering and wandering. Next week starts the celebration of Sri Lankan New Year so most everything closes down; shops, offices, AHIMSA, etc… I look forward to doing a bit of writing, and also so work- training as well.

In Sri Lanka, I watch in the newspaper as the government discusses 100 meter zones (where not to build) and yet does not actively deliver essential needs such as housing and land. NGOs can help with some things such as listening, and providing material for school uniforms, but the listening can even aggravate as people see helpers coming into offer support and listening and the money for these programs does little to put a solid roof over their heads. People’s anger and frustration are elevated. No only those who are in tents, but Sri Lankans who are there to care feel the increasing frustration as they put a bandage on an internal wound, offer a drink of water and pain relief in the form of psycho/social support to much deeper hurts of poverty, lack of work to get ahead and lack of shelter to protect families.

Programs like Habitat for Humanity mobilize families in the construction of their own homes. People are ready to use their energy to actively rebuild their homes, communities and their lives; the resilience they bring to the task is best spent in active participation in change. The sit, watch and wait, they are currently experiencing is further disabling them.

Another storm is moving in as I write this. It is roaring across Colombo as the storms, earthquakes and continued natural disruption in the weather and environment cause people to wonder about the bigger picture of Earth. Initially, there was a sense of reassurance, that life would return to normal in Sri Lanka, Thailand, India, Malaysia and all the areas impacted by Tsunami. These events such as quakes and tsunamis are rare, and will never again occur in a lifetime. Now earth quakes and the changing patterns of waves and tides, make assurances seem hollow and ill-conceived.

I was visiting with a young man in Thailand who asked if the weather patterns, storms and natural disasters were changing in Canada too. Instead of seeing these events as one-off occurrences; perhaps resilience is about swimming lessons, knowing the signs, building dwellings with different knowledge; no just whether your boat is visible from the window. What resilience skills does this changing world need?

I have to send this off and close down the computer as our internet connection is in danger when big storms and lightening strike. Hey, I just noticed, the clapping neighbour has stopped.