March 3rd

It is very hot and I am happy that it is not only me but native Sri Lankans are also feeling the heat. It seems my computer is as well, and the hard drive has seized up twice. Each time it cools down and goes back in the computer it gives me a brief time in order to copy files to cds so all is not lost. I wrote a blog, saved it on disk, and now the disk tries to convert it to Turkish language so the computer, disks and all seem to be feeling the heat with me.

If this works (different computer, different disk, and same writer) I will gratefully head for my flat in the breeze that has come up. I wrote about the dilemmas I am having concerning training we are invited to do in the East at Batticaloa, in ten days. We will provide a week long training trainers program in facing fears. The people requesting this work are finding it very difficult working with children and adults whose fears, post tsunami, seem to spread into fear of going to bed, to school, on the bus, or away from family. They want tools for working with fear.

My fear, I guess based on past experience, is that once one opens the doors to fear and trauma, many things come pouring out. Research describes a culture of silence, concerning abuse, yet it has been there in community and camps and can suddenly move from silence to spoken pain.

I remember when I was first teaching in a Northern mining community in Canada. If you had asked whether any of the students in our little school were abused, I could have answered with a confident and naïve, ‘No’. And I found out during my first teaching year on the total lack of awareness we all had, as a young girl came forward with her sexual abuse in her home. We helped her move to a residential centre for youth and she was the first of many people who spoke of the abuse they experienced. I do not think that a culture of silence around family violence and child abuse is unique to Sri Lanka, but a silencing well known in many communities.


I do not know whether communities, support workers or anyone has the capacity or facilities to handle the likelihood that fears have now awoken in once silenced children.
I look forward to the opportunity of working with a group of committed people who are making it their life work to be there for their community in the difficult times. My belief is that together we can share our experiences of what works, helps and how we can stay in touch as our learning curve builds.

At the same time AHIMSA works with psycho/social issues, we are developing our ADR materials and program with peer support and mediation. This blog can provide a participatory component as I have a question for you.

When you were (or currently are) an adolescent, who did you turn to, to speak about the difficult times you had?
Can you rank in order please: mom, dad, other adult in family, sibling, friend, school counselor, teacher, other?
If it depends on the topic (please include that distinction)

I look forward to hearing your responses: My email is marthamcmanus@hotmail.com
Oh, I believe I have lost my Bradford address, so please write to hotmail.

This week-end I met Sister Nidoshini. She is under 5 foot tall, yet the power she generates is huge. Her grey hair is stuffed under her blue nun’s habit, and she laughs to learn that there is a wine named after her. Sister awoke all her fellow nuns at 4am on December 26th and dragged them out with much resistance to catch a bus from Matara to Colombo, so they would have mass there. Their bus arrived in Colombo just before 9:30, when the tsunami waves hit. Sister says she must have been a snake in her past life as she, like the animals, felt the earth’s tremors before the waves came. Sister has a joyful laugh, the strength to move mountains and the ability to heal in her hands. People come from great distances for she heals wounds both visible and invisible. We are blessed as she comes to AHIMSA to rejuvenate. As we sat telling stories she invited me to come and sit with her as the people come to be healed. She and the master teacher who taught her have both spoken of my healing work in my hands. At the current moment, my hands can not heal my computer, but we continue to work as best we can. Sister and I enjoyed gin and tonic and shared great laughs. All is not hard as the joys are here daily as well.
Sister said if I wrote about her, she would want to thank all of you whose financial donations brought musical instruments to her school as they replace their band instruments. A flute, guitar, violin, and Kandy drums all make the band better. I had thought to invite you to send your used instruments here; only now the government is heavily taxes things and is even taking things to distribute on their own.

It must be getting cooler outside as the clapper (neighbor I mentioned in previous blogs) is now clapping. The heat slows him down a bit.